Where Am I?

     The question has been asked, where am I? But this question can be taken in many different ways. Where am I in life? In school? Work? As a person? As we embark on this journey of self discovery, I will divide up the findings.

     I am a seventeen year old, so I suppose that would put me at about a fourth or fifth of my life, done. Scary to think, since I haven't even graduated yet. Speaking of grades, I'm in my fourteenth year of school. Well, including preschool and kindergarten. I am also graduating this year, halfway through my senior year almost.

    In life, I am probably accelerating at a rate much faster than most my age, being a parent already. I'm in the part of my life a little earlier, where I learn that not everything is about what game or event is going on that night, but more of what is going on for the next week. I am where I am learning that I'm not the only person in the world, that my decisions effect everyone around me, especially my daughter and my family.

     At work, I'm kind of the "newbie", or the kid, I guess you could say. I'm the Resident Assistant that has been there the longest, but I'm the one who has no idea what's going on when compared to all the nurses and certified nursing aides that I run around with. I'm in the awkward stage there, where I don't know for sure if being in geriatrics is what I really want, because I have a really bad habit of getting connected to the people and then when the light shines on them, I'm completely heartbroken and hardly even want to go back to the place knowing that they are not there physically anymore.

     As a person, I'm in that awkward stage where I think I know things, but I really don't. I think that's where most of us teenagers are. I'm at the stage--a tad bit early--where I'm mothering my own child but also trying to figure things out on my own. It's a really confusing part of life, let me tell you.

    My home is where you can usually find me if I'm not with Donovan, at work, or at school. I lead a pretty boring life if you're looking in from the outside. I'm usually in our huge living room, that's overrun with baby toys and boxes turned into playhouses watching Disney movies with Kiannah and Donovan. 

     My home is placed in the awkward town of Phillips, Nebraska. Three hundred and sixteen people, I believe, according to the sign. We don't have a restaurant, a store, or really, anything. We have a ball park, a gym from the old school that's on it's way to being torn down, a post office, and a fire department. Oh, and  a park, that I never see people even go to. 

    My community. Aurora, Phillips, and lots of cornfields. You can't really say that Phillips is a community-based place. Besides the kids playing, it's just a lot of gossip and that's about it. It's one of those places that people get sucked into, and just never end up leaving. Kind of depressing, actually.

    I live in the cornhusker state. Nebraska. "Miles and miles of cornfields and highways, connecting little towns with funny names", I think that's how Jason Aldean put it in "Fly Over States". Nebraska is one of those places where when we get an exchange student, I’m like ‘What made you want to come here, from there? ‘ Like seriously. I don’t understand why they come here instead of like, New York or California or some place more extravagant.

     I’m in classes that I really in a way enjoy, but in another, wish that I wasn’t in them. My English III class isn’t bad, but I wish I wasn’t in it because it’s a Junior class and makes me look like I got held back or something, when that is definantly not the case. My Honors Comp Class, the class I have this blogger thing for, is awesome because it challenges me intellectually, but then people seem to expect so much from me just because I’m in a college class.

    My school, Ha! It’s a school ruled by last names, star performers, and athletes. Everyone knows everyone’s business, and broadcasts it for their own personal gain, so that they don’t feel left out. The social part of school is a joke. It’s cruel. The kids are cruel. If you don’t have a last name, or aren’t a *STAR*, don’t expect to get much praise. Not out loud, anyways.

    Anyways, I suppose that kind of sums up where I am. And my opinions on it, so until my third blog posting, this is it.

Love and rockets,

Britni Kay

    

Community: The Phillips Bell Tower

Home: My house

Community: Phillips in 1890(ish)

School: The Middle and High School, along with Track

Home: Our porch

School: Football State Champ, 2008.

State: GO BIG RED.

State: State sign.

   

Who Am I?

   

Who am I?

I am Britni Kay McBride, middle daughter of Steven Dale and Corinna Katharine (Young) McBride. I'm the one that decided my grand arrival would be at 2:37 in the morning, but would be the easiest delivery. I'm between Natasha Leigh and Kylie Katharine in age, Tash being five years older and Ky being five years younger. I’m who you would think would be the mediator, but who in reality does most of the arguing. I am the house cleaner, and the one who charges my siblings for me to clean up after them as my own kind of ‘allowance’.

I am the granddaughter to Frank Eldon and Helga Elsemarie (Summerer) Young, and Gilbert Dale and Barbara Kay (Stuhr) McBride. Between the grandpa that I never met, and the two grandparents who live two miles away but have no emotional contact with us, Helga was about all I had.

I am the girl who got pregnant at sixteen, and who cannot blame anyone or anything other than my own actions. I’m the girl who got broken up with after a seven month relationship, then found out I was pregnant, and went through the amazing journey of going from child to mother with my own mother, because the father refused to believe he had to grow up. I’m the girl who, when my water broke, walked through that admissions door of Memorial Community Health, Inc holding my mom’s hand and had a smile on my face, knowing I was going to meet the little one in either the pink or blue blanket that day.

I am the seventeen year old mother of a beautiful baby girl, Kiannah Elsamarie McBride, and the only real parent she has. I am the one who was in labor for nine hours, but had only half an hour of doing the pushing and hard work. I’m the one whose chest she was laid on, right after they announced that I had a little girl. I’m the one who pulled out the notebook of names, and named her after the strongest woman I know, Helga Elsemarie. I’m the one who carried her for nine months and who has taken care of her since day one. I’m the one that she will always know she can count on.

I'm the girlfriend of Donovan Kucera, a kid owning up and being a parent to a child that isn't his. I’m the one helping him through his high school career, being his support in place of the father who doesn’t care to.

I'm a senior at Aurora High School, and one of the kids that has gone to Aurora all my life. I'm known in the school as "the girl with a baby," but I wouldn't change it for the world. I'm the girl that gets talked about, but it doesn't bother me; if they are taking the time to talk about me, they are leaving someone else alone. I'm the girl with the schedule that everyone wants to have: only three classes a day. 

I am a cadet on the Phillips Volunteer Fire Department. I can't do much yet, but once I turn eighteen, I can become a full member. I'm the one copying drivers' license information onto the run sheet, and taking pictures of accidents. I’m the one that has the honor of helping with firefighter rehab, making sure my teammates are okay.

I am a former FFA member. Former, because I knew with my pregnancy, I wouldn’t be able to go everything necessary to be in the club, go to school, and work. Though I’m not in the organization anymore, I take pride in the blue jacket with my name embroidered in gold.

I am an amateur artist. I draw for fun, and don’t take as much pride in my work as others say I should, but I believe that is because since I am the artist and I look at every detail as I’m putting the piece together, I see every single flaw. I should probably learn to better appreciate the work that I do, but I do not.

I am a student with a dream to help others. I want to be a social worker and help families and juveniles. I want to be responsible for someone’s life turning around for the better. I’m the one who will make a difference some day.

I am the girl that wants to change a stereotype. I want to be the one to prove, not all teen parents are bad parents. I want to start a revolution.

               

 My deep map, the finished project

 Kiannah's prayer bear, my family tradition.

Life Soundtrack: Homeboy, by Eric Church.